Say Something
by page105
Summary: Angst. Castle goes into a downward spiral after Kate's death. ONESHOT FICLET. Idea came from being so depressed and wanting to write angst, and the Boy Epic cover of Say Something I'm Giving Up On You. R


**So I stumbled on this idea while listening to the Boy Epic cover of SAY SOMETHING I'M GIVING UP ON YOU. I fell in love. I needed to write angst, perks of being depressed as fuck I guess. Lemme know what you guys think.**

Why's it called heartbreak when your body's breaking too? I can't put back the pieces because I gave them all to you.

I'm feeling so small, I knew nothing at all. I'm sorry that I couldn't get to you. You're the one that I love and I'm saying goodbye.

The truth is I'm falling apart, and I dont know how to start over. I've learned to fake a smile. I can see the shadows in your eyes. I wanted you forever.

Everything reminds me of you. I still smell the scent of cherry shampoo on your pillow. The last time I laid eyes on you was in that hospital.

I hold your hand tightly. Gripping on, hoping in vain you wake up rolling your eyes at me, remembering some wild theory I had spun the day before.

Say something I'm giving up on you. I'm sorry that I couldn't get to you. You're the one that I love and I'm saying goodbye.

I would do anything to see those brown-green eyes again.

-A tear slips down my face. The decision was made by your father and I. We're saying goodbye. My last chance to tell you how much I love you. And that's pretty much all I say, mixed in with 'Don't leave me's and 'Stay with me's.

I break down when I hear your machine flatline. A hand rests on my shoulder in vain to be comforting, which clearly isn't working.-

Jerry Tyson was shot by myself, died instantly after being popped in the temple twice, two weeks after you slipped from our lives.

I cry myself to sleep every night, every night since you've been gone. I'm sorry that I couldn't get to you.

I should have been there. I shoot a text message to Lanie, the boys, my mother and daughter. Two words, two exact same words to them all; I'm sorry.

That was all I needed to say.

The loft is silent, I need you in my life. I can't live without you anymore Kate. You're my soul mate, I wish I could say my one and done but I can't, you're my third time's the charm, the love of my life, my always.

And baby I love you so much. I need to be with you.

I look to the bottom of yet another empty glass. I know you would hate seeing me like this, especially after your mother when your Dad did the same as what I am doing. I'm sorry I failed you, I promised everyone including you that I would protect you, and yet I wasn't there.

Why's it called heartbreak when your body's breaking too? I can't put back the pieces because I gave them all to you.

I fumble drunkly for the orange bottle of pills, and down them as quickly as possible. I know I should be here for Alexis, Lanie, and all the others, but I can't live without you.

Say something. That was all I needed to know you were still with me, that I didn't have to make a choice and turn your life support off. But all heard was the click of the oxygen pump, all seen is the rise and fall of your chest.

Your face was as pale as snow, your fingers were as cold as ice.

I need you in my life. I miss you Kate. I love you. I'll see you soon.

I feel my life leave my body, and although I'm leaving my life, I hear the door unlock, and Ryan's frantic voice.

He starts compressions on my chest, but it's too late. It sounds extremely cliche, but I see the light. And I run to it, I run as fast as my legs will carry me.

* * *

My eyes open slowly, my neck is stiff as hell. But I don't care. I cop a whiff of your cherry scented shampoo, and I sit up immediately. Your head is on my shoulder, my head on yours.

The moment reminds me of after we had been abducted in our third year of working together. You stir as I sit up straighter, and we lock eyes.

I see so much love in your green-brown eyes. At the same time we smile widely at each other. Our lips connect in a passion fueld kiss going nowhere.

And in that moment, I knew I was truly happy for the first time since that traumatic day.

I love you Kate, I'm sorry that I couldn't get to you. I love you.


End file.
